shame

its like i’ve been
seeking affirmations
in any suitable man
who is willing
then i end up
sleeping with them
out of pity
when all i really
needed to hear was
“youre pretty,
youre pretty”

its pathetic
and shameful
and to most i’d deny
that i’m just doing
anything i can
to make myself feel
like i’m still alive

because i’m scared
and i’m sad
but you’d never know it
i’m too proud
and too embarrassed
to be able to show it

so i put on my boots
and my mega watt smile
and escape by becoming
the fantasies
of the men i encounter
for a while

i’m not proud
to admit it
but i’ll tell you
this much
it beats the hell
out of crying
and whining
and such

so judge me
if you like
if thats what
floats your boat
but that says more
about you
than any of these words
about me
that i’ve wrote

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under all, introspection, lust and passion

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s