men i’ve known

i’ve been thinking about love
and the men that i’ve known
the ways they all ended
the ways we’ve all grown

brad was a good guy
reliable, strong
always emotional when things
between us went wrong
it was sweet but got old
being with someone so needy
he somehow made me feel
like wanting any time away from him
made me greedy

jake was a mans man
but a cuddler too
it was one of our
top 3 favorite things to do
we loved each other fiercly
and we fought fiercly too
we both did horrible things
we never thought we’d do
we took each other for granted
like people often do
and i started thinking
that i wanted something new

corey was the cool guy
his attitude made him hot
ambitious and adorable
available he was not
we flirted daily hot and heavy
we’d spend the night
every few weeks
online i’d see pictures
of his girlfriend
of whom he would rarely speak
i felt guilty
but couldnt stop
my attraction was consuming
it slowly stopped
3 weeks became 5
and our seperate lives
just kept moving

matthew was perfect
in my head anyway
he moved not long after we met
so in my head
thats how he’ll stay
he was easygoing and empathetic
we liked all of the same things
i love the chills
the thought of our first kiss
still brings
i met him online
we wrote long letters for weeks
i was cautious but curious
so i arranged for us to meet
he didnt know then
he would be leaving
but i’ll never regret
the few short weeks
that started that evening

i’ve been thinking about love
and the men that i’ve known
the ways they all ended
that left me here alone