depressed

there was a time when i
was constantly full of shame
a time when i
felt riddled with blame
for anything
and everything
that you could think of
a thoughtless word
a really loud hiccup
its silly to think
that i wasted
so much time
caught up in all
these insecurities
that lived in my mind

the depressed
always remember
everything they’ve done
everything they’ve said
that was hurtful
or sounded stupid
and they just keep repeating
in the back of their heads
it makes them embarrassed
to be who they are
and it makes it
impossible for them
to stray very far
from the comfort
of their solitude
the assurance
that being alone
means that they don’t
have to worry
about trying to atone
for the mistakes
that they’ve made
that way no one ever
has to know

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