you tell me

you tell me
that i am thinking
too much
worrying about what if
and what could happen
and such

but i know myself better
than you know me
there are consequences
you either cant
or wont see
and right now i cant risk
my emotional stability

because whenever i was
lonely in the past
i allowed myself
to become attached
to anyone
who showed me
romantic attention
because of how badly
i craved the affection

and they
were mistakes
i’d have been better off
not making
because after
a little while
i felt like
i was faking

and i wouldn’t
want to hurt you
by leading you on
you wont
have my heart
right now
its long gone

but my heart
is sometimes tricked
even if my head
wont say so
and i don’t want
to feel hurt
if it’s you
that lets go

so it kind of feels like
a no win situation
no matter the manor
of it’s disintegration

i’d rather keep you around
in a positive way
because i like
when you’re there
at the end of my day

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Filed under all, introspection, love and stuff

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