Monthly Archives: December 2012

the radio

I’ll be driving alone
and that song comes on the radio
Just like that, it all rushes back

Hand in hand walking down
a cute small town street
my eyes on you
your eyes on me

The wind in my hair
your lips on my face
the beat of your heart
the hole in me it replaced

The taste of sweet sweat
and the sound of your laughter
the promise of a perfect
happily ever after

Even though it’s been so long
when I hear the right song
the past is never really gone

Cause just when I think
I’ve let it all go
that song is playing on the radio

You and me in the car
open skies, summer air
singing songs and feeling like
this was something rare

You playing with the hole
in the knee of my jeans
both of us joyful
smiling incessantly

The scent of your skin
your hot breath on my neck
the endless embraces
all those playful little pecks

It’s been so long
but when that song comes on
those moments, yeah
they live on

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Filed under all, longing, love and stuff, lust and passion

Christmas Eve

What would it be like
to be with you one more time
for our whole family to spend
one more Christmas Eve night

You sitting there, eyes closed
legs crossed, bopping your head
singing along to mom and dad’s Grateful Dead

I’d love to see you helping B
decorate the Christmas tree
showing him how to blow the tinsel
so it falls evenly
investigating the presents with him
when mom and dad can’t see
singing our favorite carols, gleefully

Eggnog with rum and big bellied laughter
blissfully unaware of our impending never after

Staying up late to play Santa
and stuffing B’s stocking
reminiscing about our own
childhood Christmas mornings

Another one that you won’t see
except as the Angel
that tops our Christmas tree

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Filed under all, family, my sister

breaking your heart

I’m watching it all falling to pieces
and I just don’t want to believe it
seeing my sturdy, weathered rock
crumbling apart, turning to dust

maybe that’s all life ever does
twist and hurt and end
maybe I just didn’t want to see it
but maybe that’s all it’s ever been

cause it’s all happening
it’s all falling apart
maybe no one ever
really finishes what they start

seems that life
just loves
to keep breaking your heart

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Filed under all, family, pain and loss

broken dreams

this collection
of our broken dreams
puffed up and proud
for everyone to see

the remainders
the reminders
of paths not followed
of oats not sowed

while you have shelves
full of frames, full of stories
you’ve told and retold

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Filed under all, pain and loss, random

hey Lonnie

Hey Lonnie,
do you remember the time
back before you and I
had even turned nine

I wanted one of your stickers
so I bargained with you
you asked for a kiss on the lips
which you didn’t think I’d do

I gave you a good peck on the mouth
in an awkward, childish way
Picked up my new sticker and walked away
but you followed me
around school the next day
you and our friend TJ
chanting over and over
“Lonnie loves A.D.”

but I was embarrassed
and I didn’t know what to do
not sure if I should let you know
that I liked you

and just the next week
your family up and left
and I never did see you again

I was sad and regretful
even at that age
I wrote our initials in a heart
on every single page
I would fantasize about you
moving back to town
holding hands, telling our friends
that we were ‘going out’

but at that age
it was hard to keep track
and you never did
end up coming back

when I was alone I would
think about you incessantly
but even that young
I knew things could change suddenly

so you were my daydream
my bitter-sweet memory

A loss that shaped the way
I’ve dealt with heartbreak
to this day

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Filed under all, introspection, random

the dreamers

i’m always drawn to the dreamers
to the under achievers
the lost souls
the ones with layers
that i can never get
to unfold

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Filed under bits and pieces, introspection, love and stuff, pieces. parts.