Category Archives: bits and pieces

This is a collection of the little phrases and snippets of would-be poems scattered in between the pages of my notebooks. Some are poems without endings (or beginnings), some are just little phrases that come out of my head, others are poems who’s rhyme scheme just never showed up, or who’s meter just wouldn’t steady.

Days & Nights

Some nights
I shackle my heart to the past
Let it all keep replaying

Some days
I move forward so fast
I can almost see the future
Reshaping

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the leaf

I am a leaf
in a windstorm
flying up
falling down
thrown up against barriers
scraping along just above the ground

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Cobwebs, Leaves and TV Screens

I sweep warning signs idly away
Like cobwebs from a doorway
Forgetting about the spiders
Who put them there in the first place

I hold onto love too long
Like a tree in an autumn breeze
Stubbornly refusing to cast off deadening leaves
Afraid of what losing those colors might mean

But worst of all
I remember like a TV screen
Everywhere I go
I see ghosts acting out the memories

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Lies

I feel like a dream just died
Someone pulled back the curtain
and it vanished in the daylight
I won’t keep trying
to build my home on your lies
Like sand, it only appears to hold
until pressure is applied

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the dreamers

i’m always drawn to the dreamers
to the under achievers
the lost souls
the ones with layers
that i can never get
to unfold

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remind me

i didn’t see you much
during your pregnancy
never got to ask you
what kind of man
you hoped he’d be

i’m not sure
which stories
you had wanted
to make sure he knew
not sure
what you most
wanted to teach him
as he grew

and boy,
do his faces
remind me of you

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price tag

there are so many people
who live paycheck
to paycheck
who can’t afford care
when they get hurt
or get sick

they’re good people
during hard times
they have families
they lead good lives

then there are so many people
who have so much more
than they could ever need
who are motivated by things
like power, fame, greed

they spend
thousands of dollars
on novelty items
from foreign designers
because it’s
the status
they admire

one poor man’s surgery
hangs in another man’s closet
lost and forgotten
price tag
still on it

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ever after

i guess
that story
is over
turn the page
end the chapter
not every
story
has a
happily
ever after

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better aim

can’t you see
my heart
bleeding
down my sleeve

maybe, next time
i should keep it
strapped to the outside
of my boot

take more careful aim
before i start to shoot

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memories

everyone is flawed
in their own
little ways
everyone has
their good and
their bad days

we would argue for hours
over who had got more
who’s fault it was
who had the best score
we would go back and forth
when we couldn’t be heard
and try out every
new swear word
or insult
we’d learned

you were always so
over-dramatic
in everything
that you would do
but i don’t need
to perfect your image
in my memory
to miss you

good or bad times
i miss them all
no matter how big
no matter how small

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stars

we stared at the moon 
so big
full of wonder
and surprise
while the stars
shined thousands
of dancing lights
at our eyes

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last night

last night
making love to you
i cried
a release
of the emotions
held captive
by my pride

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mad hatter

i’m all over
the place
scattered
shattered
unsure
of what matters
the slowly
unraveling
lonely
mad hatter

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lies

i know
that when you offer
to look me
in the eyes
whatever follows
will be
lies
lies
lies

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sometimes

sometimes it seems
like you’re in too much
of a hurry
sometimes it feels
like the line between us
is a little blurry

this is a new game
for me, anyway
i know the rules
but i’ve never played

sometimes it’s hard to tell
if you’re just having fun
or if you
are starting trouble
from which i should run

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you’re here

i don’t know
what the future
will hold
i don’t know
where this story
will go

all i know
is you’re here
in my heart
here in my head
there in my dreams
when i lay down
in bed

i don’t know if you
will ever love me again
i don’t know if we’ll
ever really be friends

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traces

everything evolves
nothing
stays the same
feelings may
change
but traces
remain

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breaking

it’s too beautiful
the water
the sun
the warmth that it’s making

for me to be
sitting here
faking

for my
heart
to be breaking

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the other side

i wonder
how you’d feel
if our roles
were reversed
if i had done
that to you
in that way
right at first

if it had
been me
taking you
for that ride
tell me,
how would
forgiveness look
from the other side?

how easy
do you
expect this
to be?
it’s not
about you,
remember?
it’s about me

you play
the victim
like regret
is the main event
but regret
flames bright
then dies out
and is spent

i have
no blame
to eat
to settle
the score
just heartache
fear
disappointment
and more

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almost may

it’s a cold
rainy
sad little day
can’t believe
its only
a week
until May

where
is the time going?
what happened
to spring?
what about
all the things
the new year
was supposed to bring?

same old
sad, cold
rainy little
day
sitting on the porch
with that
same old feeling
of fading
away

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something about spring

there is
something about when
the earth wakes up
from its slumber
the warmth seeps
into my heart
and i begin
to remember
my love
of the little things
like how sunshine
makes me feel
how everything
seems
so tangible
so real

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addicted

it’s like
i’m addicted
to making
poor decisions
i know better
and yet
its like i get
tunnel-vision
and immediately
after
my head
fills with shame
stupid
stupid
you have
no one else
to blame

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lessons

life’s a long line
of lessons
you start to learn
when you’re young
and just continues
as you get older
there’s always
more to come

you learn
compassion
through exhaustion
that you are not
the only one
resiliency through
the pains that
you have had
to overcome

decency
through shame
past crimes
you can’t change
hurt caused
where you were
the only one
to blame

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congratulations

its crazy to see
how much we have grown
you now preparing
for life
beyond your own

congratulations!

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heartbeat

i shift my weight
back and forth
from my heels
to my toes
my ears
start to ring
and my heartbeat
slows
i feel it pound
in my gut
i dont know
what to say
and i cant
do anything
while youre looking at me
that way

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winter woods

heavy
snow-covered trees
look like lighted
silk tent tepees

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september

alone with my thoughts amid winds in early september. among greens and trees and fall, pre-splendor.

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ferris wheel

i don’t know
from one minute
to the next
how i’m going to feel
like i’m trapped
on some never-ending
emotion filled
ferris wheel

because first
i feel so sick
i feel so foolish
i feel so bad
then the fact
that i feel like that
makes me start
to get so mad

and sometimes
in those moments
i really think
that i might hate you
for what you did
and all the lies
some of which you still
wont admit to

after the anger
is quiet
a calm tired
sadness
a thoughtful
consideration
of all the drama
all the madness

and then i crave
the comfort
you’re so great
at giving
and we connect
and i begin
to believe
i can be forgiving

and that time
we spend together
i honestly do
feel happy
i know that’s what
you’re trying
your very best
to make me

but eventually
its always there
in my head
like a slap in the face,
or a punch to the gut
you didn’t see coming
and didn’t
have time to brace

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tone

whats that
you say?
you don’t want
me to go?
well, then i guess
you’ll just have
to deal with
my tone

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wonderful tonight

will i always
be waiting
for love
to feel like a song
like the way
that i feel
when Wonderful Tonight
comes on

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karma

maybe
its karma
maybe its
reincarnation
maybe
its a lesson
that teaches
appreciation

maybe
in another life
i was cold
and deceitful
maybe i was
rich and greedy
and mean
til i was old

maybe
its the start
of a spiritual path
the making
of an old soul
the beginnings
of an empath

wouldnt it
be nice
to think hardship
happens
for a reason
that there
are lots
of chapters
that pass quickly
like the seasons

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playing with fire

i’m playing with fire
it’s a game of desire
and every day
i’m letting the stakes
get a little higher

i am conflicted
but i am addicted
and it will end badly
its not hard to predict it

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cant say no

i just cant say no
to the attention
to the affection
desire just takes over
its like an infection
i like to be held
to be coddled
to be kissed
to be told that when
i’m gone all day
that i’m missed

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waterfall

do you
ever feel
like youre
pinned
beneath a
waterfall
and you
cant even
cry out
cause you’ll
swallow
it all

when the
pouring
and the
pounding
is all
you can hear
and you
cant see
anything
no matter
how near

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cant seem

cant seem
to move on
cant seem
to let go
cant seem
to stop
cant seem
to say no

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tangled web

there was passion
inside me
a lifetime ago
when happiness
followed me
wherever i’d go

there was mystery
and intrigue
in my not-so-subtle gaze
a promise
hidden
in my not-so-nice-girl ways

carefree and audacious
used to describe me
engaging and fun
is what i aimed to be

i had stars
in my eyes
my heart
on my sleeve
i was proud
of the tangled web
i had weaved

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loneliness
is in the air
i can feel it
everywhere
come and lay
your heart by mine
maybe they’ll
grow full with time

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bits and pieces

from the margins of notebooks has a whole new category! it’s called bits and pieces. lately, i’ve been reading through my notebooks, and i noticed how many half written poems there were, not to mention the little phrases and snippets of would-be poems scattered in between the pages. some are poems without endings, some are little phrases that come out of my head, others are poems who’s rhyme scheme just never showed up, or who’s meter just wouldn’t steady. i decided that i want to share these on the site as well. while there are still things in my notebooks that i do not share online, this allows me to keep most of my writing together, and provides an outlet for some of the writing that will never become anything more than it is now, yet shouldn’t be discarded.

bits and pieces has the following three sub categories:

pieces. parts. here you will find the little snippets, partial stanzas, and little rhymes that come out of my head unconnected with a particular piece of work.

rambles. this is some of my poetry that didn’t always lend itself to rhyme or meter. they are pretty much a mess of jagged thoughts.

unfinished. here you will find the would be poems that i just simply was never able to finish.

i’ve been posting things to these categories for the last week, so there is a bunch there for you to check out. i hope you enjoy them.

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afraid to lose

why am i
so afraid to choose
is it just because i
am so afraid to lose

i’m not even sure
what i’m holding on for
i guess i’m just scared
that less is never more

that to have is better
than to be without
that loneliness is never
easier than doubt

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high hopes and high pedastals

we came together so naturally
and fell apart so fast
kind of funny considering
we were so sure this would last
we had high hopes and high pedestals
we placed each other on
and before we knew what happened
those pedestals were gone

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lonely

being lonely
is like a hunger
that wont go away
it only
grows stronger
with each passing day

it aches
to be soothed
by the one that you miss
it makes
you yearn
for just one more kiss

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cant be

this can’t be it
this can’t be goodbye
this can’t be you
laughing at me
while i cry

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guilt trip

i’m not trying
to guilt trip you
to make you feel bad
i’m just trying
to be honest
that this makes me sad

i want you
to sympathize
because you feel that way too
instead of re justifying
the reasons
like you often do

i understand
why it has to be
the way it will be
i accept that
but it doesn’t mean
that it wont
affect me

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waiting for something

i get home
put my bags down
take a look around
and feel overwhelmed

think i’ll lay down
i’m always tired now
i’ll pretend it’ll be ok
just don’t ask me how

i always say that i’m doing alright
but when did this routine become my life

i’m waiting for something
to make me feel alive
something that inspires me to
do something with my life

i need the motivation
and the courage it would bring
i can’t get there on my own
so i’m waiting on something

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self loathing

i’m not sure
you would stay
if i admitted
to these lies
and i just dont think
i could handle
watching you
pack up your eyes
and take shelter
somewhere
far from my side
so instead i live with
this self loathing
i’ve been trying
to hide

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