Category Archives: rambles

These are unfinished poems that came out of me in streams -often two or three words at a time all the way down the page. Some are ones that never quite lent themselves to a rhyme scheme, that never quite fit. At least not yet.

price tag

there are so many people
who live paycheck
to paycheck
who can’t afford care
when they get hurt
or get sick

they’re good people
during hard times
they have families
they lead good lives

then there are so many people
who have so much more
than they could ever need
who are motivated by things
like power, fame, greed

they spend
thousands of dollars
on novelty items
from foreign designers
because it’s
the status
they admire

one poor man’s surgery
hangs in another man’s closet
lost and forgotten
price tag
still on it

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Filed under all, rambles, random

better aim

can’t you see
my heart
bleeding
down my sleeve

maybe, next time
i should keep it
strapped to the outside
of my boot

take more careful aim
before i start to shoot

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stars

we stared at the moon 
so big
full of wonder
and surprise
while the stars
shined thousands
of dancing lights
at our eyes

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mad hatter

i’m all over
the place
scattered
shattered
unsure
of what matters
the slowly
unraveling
lonely
mad hatter

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lies

i know
that when you offer
to look me
in the eyes
whatever follows
will be
lies
lies
lies

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the other side

i wonder
how you’d feel
if our roles
were reversed
if i had done
that to you
in that way
right at first

if it had
been me
taking you
for that ride
tell me,
how would
forgiveness look
from the other side?

how easy
do you
expect this
to be?
it’s not
about you,
remember?
it’s about me

you play
the victim
like regret
is the main event
but regret
flames bright
then dies out
and is spent

i have
no blame
to eat
to settle
the score
just heartache
fear
disappointment
and more

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Filed under all, bits and pieces, love and stuff, pain and loss, rambles

addicted

it’s like
i’m addicted
to making
poor decisions
i know better
and yet
its like i get
tunnel-vision
and immediately
after
my head
fills with shame
stupid
stupid
you have
no one else
to blame

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Filed under all, bits and pieces, introspection, rambles

playing with fire

i’m playing with fire
it’s a game of desire
and every day
i’m letting the stakes
get a little higher

i am conflicted
but i am addicted
and it will end badly
its not hard to predict it

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cant say no

i just cant say no
to the attention
to the affection
desire just takes over
its like an infection
i like to be held
to be coddled
to be kissed
to be told that when
i’m gone all day
that i’m missed

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waterfall

do you
ever feel
like youre
pinned
beneath a
waterfall
and you
cant even
cry out
cause you’ll
swallow
it all

when the
pouring
and the
pounding
is all
you can hear
and you
cant see
anything
no matter
how near

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not yet

i always feel
like something
is holding me back
keeping me from being
where it is
i need to get
like an echoing
in my head
not yet, not yet
not yet

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no hero

i know
that acting
the way
that i do
makes you feel
like i need to be
rescued
but that
isn’t the role
that i want
for you

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stumped

i’m stumped
stopped
blocked
i’ve got
no ideas
no energy
no wants
i cant
even muster
the desire
to try
i revert
to this old
spiderweb
of lies

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coffee shop

lost
in my
thoughts
amongst
the clinking
of coffee cups
dim lights
and red vinyl
hollow eyes
and halfhearted
smiles

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datebook

lately
it seems
i am
only happy
when my
datebook
is bursting
at the seams
i require
constant
distractions
to occupy
my days
i need
nonstop
intrigue
to keep me
in a kind of
calm daze

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highlight

she’s everyone’s
highlight
full of sweetness
loves the sunlight
shes not afraid
to be sarcastic,
but in a silly way
that makes it alright
always sunny
and trying
to be funny

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i aim

i aim
to be adored
by those
who i would be
surprised
to find
intrigued
by someone
like me

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dark days

dark days
are coming
but it seems
that i just
might
keep continuing
to ignore it
and remain
bright
and light

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insight

to see
is to learn
to speak
is to be
to listen
is to grow
in ways
you may
not even know

so look
when you see
and say
what you think
pay attention to
the people you meet
let them impact
your outlook
to gain the insight
we all seek

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Filed under bits and pieces, rambles

you’re sitting there
making up
stuff to say
i think, mostly
just to keep
your mouth busy
because
as soon
as your mouth
stops moving
and you look my way
it’s clear that
we both know
what it wants
to be doing

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i’m fucking it all up again
shrugging it off
playing pretend

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mystery to me

so now
here i am
the girl who
prides herself
on reading
the actions
of people
on seeing
the body language
and hidden expressions
that give away
whats really
going on
even while
watching
the attempts
to mask
true thoughts
with the traps
of normal conversation
but you remain
a mystery
to me

i can see
the masks you
wear
the ones you
always
try to hide
yet, somehow
i dont mind

because, somehow
i know
that whatever
the thoughts
may be
that linger low
i can sense
that there are
good intents
and i can feel
a comfort
in your gaze
and an ease
in your ways
and so
i deal
with the
awkward way
that not
being able
to read you
makes me feel

oh but if only
the stretch
of your smile
or the slant
of your eyes
would just
give you away
because
mystery
breeds curiosity
and dares me
to pursue
this wondering
and i become
a disaster
over eager
and young
in the ways
that i know
i have long since
overcome

not having
breeds wanting
then needing
if only just
to know. to see. to feel
to need.
to want. to have.
to read.

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desire

my desire is like an ocean
but fickle like a child
flirting teasing fleeting
affection lust and coyness
in motion

my want is unyielding
it pushes out my hands arms chest
neediness
and greediness
the sweetness of feeling
the comfort of holding
the excitement of touching
of needing
to put a spark in his eye
when he looks at me
flirting teasing speaking
in unsaid language that does
not lie

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Filed under bits and pieces, lust and passion, rambles

memory of you

my memory of you
slips by quickly
like an old tape
stuck on fast forward
and my heart
breaks just a little
because oh, how i long
to revisit
each minute
in these late hours
to remember
each eager brush
of soft lips
and each adjustment
of willing hips
to retrace the path
of every shiver
that the feel of
skin on skin delivers

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Filed under all, lust and passion, rambles