Category Archives: undone

These are poems that have substance but are just not done.

memories

everyone is flawed
in their own
little ways
everyone has
their good and
their bad days

we would argue for hours
over who had got more
who’s fault it was
who had the best score
we would go back and forth
when we couldn’t be heard
and try out every
new swear word
or insult
we’d learned

you were always so
over-dramatic
in everything
that you would do
but i don’t need
to perfect your image
in my memory
to miss you

good or bad times
i miss them all
no matter how big
no matter how small

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sometimes

sometimes it seems
like you’re in too much
of a hurry
sometimes it feels
like the line between us
is a little blurry

this is a new game
for me, anyway
i know the rules
but i’ve never played

sometimes it’s hard to tell
if you’re just having fun
or if you
are starting trouble
from which i should run

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you’re here

i don’t know
what the future
will hold
i don’t know
where this story
will go

all i know
is you’re here
in my heart
here in my head
there in my dreams
when i lay down
in bed

i don’t know if you
will ever love me again
i don’t know if we’ll
ever really be friends

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almost may

it’s a cold
rainy
sad little day
can’t believe
its only
a week
until May

where
is the time going?
what happened
to spring?
what about
all the things
the new year
was supposed to bring?

same old
sad, cold
rainy little
day
sitting on the porch
with that
same old feeling
of fading
away

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something about spring

there is
something about when
the earth wakes up
from its slumber
the warmth seeps
into my heart
and i begin
to remember
my love
of the little things
like how sunshine
makes me feel
how everything
seems
so tangible
so real

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lessons

life’s a long line
of lessons
you start to learn
when you’re young
and just continues
as you get older
there’s always
more to come

you learn
compassion
through exhaustion
that you are not
the only one
resiliency through
the pains that
you have had
to overcome

decency
through shame
past crimes
you can’t change
hurt caused
where you were
the only one
to blame

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heartbeat

i shift my weight
back and forth
from my heels
to my toes
my ears
start to ring
and my heartbeat
slows
i feel it pound
in my gut
i dont know
what to say
and i cant
do anything
while youre looking at me
that way

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ferris wheel

i don’t know
from one minute
to the next
how i’m going to feel
like i’m trapped
on some never-ending
emotion filled
ferris wheel

because first
i feel so sick
i feel so foolish
i feel so bad
then the fact
that i feel like that
makes me start
to get so mad

and sometimes
in those moments
i really think
that i might hate you
for what you did
and all the lies
some of which you still
wont admit to

after the anger
is quiet
a calm tired
sadness
a thoughtful
consideration
of all the drama
all the madness

and then i crave
the comfort
you’re so great
at giving
and we connect
and i begin
to believe
i can be forgiving

and that time
we spend together
i honestly do
feel happy
i know that’s what
you’re trying
your very best
to make me

but eventually
its always there
in my head
like a slap in the face,
or a punch to the gut
you didn’t see coming
and didn’t
have time to brace

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karma

maybe
its karma
maybe its
reincarnation
maybe
its a lesson
that teaches
appreciation

maybe
in another life
i was cold
and deceitful
maybe i was
rich and greedy
and mean
til i was old

maybe
its the start
of a spiritual path
the making
of an old soul
the beginnings
of an empath

wouldnt it
be nice
to think hardship
happens
for a reason
that there
are lots
of chapters
that pass quickly
like the seasons

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tangled web

there was passion
inside me
a lifetime ago
when happiness
followed me
wherever i’d go

there was mystery
and intrigue
in my not-so-subtle gaze
a promise
hidden
in my not-so-nice-girl ways

carefree and audacious
used to describe me
engaging and fun
is what i aimed to be

i had stars
in my eyes
my heart
on my sleeve
i was proud
of the tangled web
i had weaved

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afraid to lose

why am i
so afraid to choose
is it just because i
am so afraid to lose

i’m not even sure
what i’m holding on for
i guess i’m just scared
that less is never more

that to have is better
than to be without
that loneliness is never
easier than doubt

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guilt trip

i’m not trying
to guilt trip you
to make you feel bad
i’m just trying
to be honest
that this makes me sad

i want you
to sympathize
because you feel that way too
instead of re justifying
the reasons
like you often do

i understand
why it has to be
the way it will be
i accept that
but it doesn’t mean
that it wont
affect me

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waiting for something

i get home
put my bags down
take a look around
and feel overwhelmed

think i’ll lay down
i’m always tired now
i’ll pretend it’ll be ok
just don’t ask me how

i always say that i’m doing alright
but when did this routine become my life

i’m waiting for something
to make me feel alive
something that inspires me to
do something with my life

i need the motivation
and the courage it would bring
i can’t get there on my own
so i’m waiting on something

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self loathing

i’m not sure
you would stay
if i admitted
to these lies
and i just dont think
i could handle
watching you
pack up your eyes
and take shelter
somewhere
far from my side
so instead i live with
this self loathing
i’ve been trying
to hide

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there are times

there are times
when i hear
songs you loved
growing up
and i can see you
so vividly
legs crossed
head bobbing
singing along

it brings a smile
to my face
every time

i have all these
random memories
of our lives
through the years
the happy ones
are always the ones
that bring on
the tears

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november

snow flakes hit my pencil
its November
chilly mornings turn to frost
crystals cover the parking lot
winter is coming
foggy windshields
winter boots
gloves and scarves
and turkey shoots

memories
of snow pants
and fuzzy white hats
of snow storms
sleigh rides,
ice skating
and snowball fights

winter
was full
of wonder

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funny way

you have this
really funny way
of making me aware
of every syllable i say
whenever you are in the room
my senses awake
and i become
acutely aware
of every tiny move
my body might make

it seems like every time
you turn your eyes to me
i fear that you will somehow
be able to see me breathe
that you can feel
the warmth of my cheeks
and hear as my heart
quickens it’s beats

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angie’s been

angie’s been
sleeping around
filling her time
pretending she’s fine

shes a flurry
of plans
full of stories and smiles
anything to be
distracted
for a while

i’m waiting for it all
to come crashing down
i’m watching as it slips
further out of her grip

but she
doesnt want
to be saved

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what if i had

what if i
had walked away
instead of begging
you to stay

what if i
had said goodbye
instead of making you
watch me cry

would my pride
have eased
my pain somehow
would i feel
less pathetic
right now

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youre too young

you’re too young
to understand right now
the who or the why
or especially the how
you came to be
with the family you have
or why sometimes, when we look at you
our faces seem sad

one day you’ll be old enough
for us to tell you the truth
about the tragedies that happened
during your early youth

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in this place

here in this place
we’ve all got on a brave face
our lives are hard
but we survive
but doing whatever we can
to feel alive

he tells me
its all a game
one he refuses
to explain
he thinks we’re weak
i know he must
its written all over
that look of disgust

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