Tag Archives: angel

Christmas Eve

What would it be like
to be with you one more time
for our whole family to spend
one more Christmas Eve night

You sitting there, eyes closed
legs crossed, bopping your head
singing along to mom and dad’s Grateful Dead

I’d love to see you helping B
decorate the Christmas tree
showing him how to blow the tinsel
so it falls evenly
investigating the presents with him
when mom and dad can’t see
singing our favorite carols, gleefully

Eggnog with rum and big bellied laughter
blissfully unaware of our impending never after

Staying up late to play Santa
and stuffing B’s stocking
reminiscing about our own
childhood Christmas mornings

Another one that you won’t see
except as the Angel
that tops our Christmas tree

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Filed under all, family, my sister

who you wish i was

am i to blame
for the version of me
you had in your mind
a glowing trophy sitting on
some pedestal way up high

who is really responsible
when i start to tumble down
is it my fault if you don’t like
the way i look on the ground

you’re in love
with who you wish i was
and that is such a shame
because
i just want to love you
imperfectly, insatiably
but it will never
be enough, because
you’re in love
with who you wish i was

i’m no angel
i haven’t earned any wings
this isn’t a fairy tale
you’re no noble king

but as the light
of this broken halo
starts to die
so does the light
that shines at me
from your eyes

i just want to love you
wholly, unconditionally

but nothing i do now
will ever be enough
because you’ll never love me
like who you wish i was

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Filed under all, longing, love and stuff