Tag Archives: angela morgan

someday

someday
i’ll walk
hand in hand
with my sister
i wont even
have to tell her
how much
that i’ve missed her

we’ll play
with her daughter
in a field
of bright flowers
with one
of those views
you only see
from tall towers

we’ll reflect
on the clarity
that passing on
may bring
and we’ll
cherish
the time
and all the
little things

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the little things

its funny how
its the little things
you never seem to lose
the shape of her eyebrows
the size of her shoes
its sad how its the big things
i’m starting to forget
the tone of her laugh
or her biggest accomplishment
its scary to think
about how fast the years
have gone by
since i last saw her smile
since i last heard her cry
it pains me to know
that there are days
i dont think of her
that there will come a time
when i’ll have to try
to remember her
i think about her life
about what it could have been
if only she had known
how soon it was going to end

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just thinking

i’m just thinking
where’s my sister
does she even know
that i miss her
wondering if she can see
the tears my eyes make
if she can feel
the way my heart aches

do you think she knows
how sorry i am
that i acted as though
i didn’t give a damn

do you think
that she’s happy
wherever she is
maybe with grandpa
and the first of her
two little kids

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what about

she had dreams in mind
once upon a time

now shes hiding away the days
under long sleeves and makeup
running out of excuses
for looking banged up

telling herself
it isnt that bad
she just has to keep him
from getting that mad

but shouldn’t she
shouldn’t she be thinking

what about me
what about the happy family
you promised me
what about the bruises
you leave on my face
what about the blood stains
all over our place
what about the times
I beg you to stop
when you laugh and say
you’ll do whatever you want

what about the babies
you caused me lose
in one way or the other
from all your abuse
what about the crack
you cant live without
what about the changes
you’re always talking about

what about me
a wife and a mother is all
i ever wanted to be

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ange

i’m trying to remember
the shape of her smile
revisit the times
when we were young
for a while

been trying to recall
the tone of her laugh
you would think
it would be easy
27 years – you do the math

she used to make these faces
that were so uniquely her
sometimes i see them on her son
and my heart feels
like it just cast out a lure

sometimes i find myself
sitting in my car
or alone in an empty corner
of the local bar
talking to her
as if she were there
as if to remind her
how much i still care

i’m missing you, ange
and i hope that you know
that the pain of losing you
only seems to continue to grow

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angry

i am angry
about all of the time
i thought that we had
to develop the kind
of relationship
i had always wanted
to have

i thought that we’d
get older
and learn to lean
on each others shoulders
that in time our differences
would be subdued
and we would chat
like sisters do

but we will never
get that chance
no matter what may be
the circumstance

i’m so sorry i didnt
try harder during
the time that we had
i really had
no idea
that things were that bad

now all i can do
is miss you
keep piling up
the tissues
deal with this
itching
that says something
is missing
let sorrow sedate me
and succumb to its
aching

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one less

i regret the days
i wished for
one less
the days that
i thought
just us three
would be best

i regret the unanswered invitations
and all those missed calls
the times not shared
when you were still right there
only separated by walls.

because now its just
us three
and its taken all this
to make me see
that these three
will forever be
aching to be
one more
once more

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the last time

i wish i had known
the last time
was the last time
for so many things
the last hug
the last laugh
the last card
“love your sister”
the last christmas
the last picture
the last “called cause i miss ya”
i wish i had seen
down the path this was headed
looked beyond to see
the truth that i dreaded
i wish i could heal
the pain of so many
touched so deeply
by you
your spirit
so much bigger
than even
i knew

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everyone says

everyone says
they’re so happy
for me
that the trial
is done
that he didn’t
go free

everyone says
they’re so glad
that its over
that my family
can finally
find some closure
thank you, i say
but i can see
that now is when
the hard stuff
is going to be

because now that there
will be nothing new
missing my sister
is all i can do

a hollow dull aching
inside my chest
is all that i have
memories of times
when we were
at our best

theres never any closure
when a family member
is murdered
the thought of it
strikes me
as just a little absurd

we get to say
no goodbyes
cant take back
any lies
get to share
no more laughter
theres no
happily ever after

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robbed

each new detail they give me
puts an image in my head
and i’m piecing them together
like a mr. potato head

and i’m trying to ignore
the impending completed scene
as it plays out like a movie
or a really bad dream

the more that i know
the more helpless i feel
it leaves invisible wounds
that may never heal

because she was cheated
she was wronged
she was robbed
of her dreams
of her future
of her life
as she sobbed

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all the things

if i could
i would be
all of the things
you may have wanted
but will never have
the chance
to become

it would help me
to feel
like you were
still here
like a little part of you
would get to be
all of the things
you ever dreamed

you will never
get to see
the beautiful boy
your son
has turned out to be
but i will be sure
to remind him
that he
has a connection
to you
and how proud
you would be

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