Tag Archives: falling in love

Ruins

I didn’t fall in love with how easy it was
to be around him-although it was
We really didn’t get to do that very much

I fell in love with his voice
The way he would speak
How he would question and over-think everything
How he was so much like me

I fell in love with the laughter
the nightly hours-long conversations
With what I thought was candor
With what seemed to be patience

I fell I love with a promise
That vanished while I slept
With a shrug of its shoulders
And a cock of its neck
It turned into a rumor
That whispered to its friends
Spun my confusion into crazy
My hurt into unhinged

Rumors have a way of making you question
What you thought you knew to be true
Makes you start to wonder
If you made up the good things too
Just how big were the blinders
Just how self absorbed had I been
Was he ever honest
Did I ever mean anything to him

But that’s the thing about rumors
there are no answers to find
They just linger in tiny whispers
in the back of your mind

But I’ve never cared much for rumors
It’s why I serve myself on a plate
Less need for anyone to have to speculate
Yes, I know that not everyone is like me
And maybe i’ll always be slightly naive but

I know when I’ve felt someone’s heart touch mine
I know when I’ve seen love or lust look at me from a man’s eyes
I understand motives when promises get broken
I know what I’ve heard in between the words that are spoken

He can burn all of the bridges I built
I’ll claim those ruins as mine
Have you ever noticed how ruins
become beautiful things over time

You can take a train ride
through the ruins of my past
Just keep your hands inside
So you don’t shatter them like glass
The train track is my history
There’s a station at every trauma
Ghosts move among the wreckage
play-acting out the drama
Some are quick enough to roll through
So many others take some time
I visit them all occasionally
When I get stuck inside my mind

Everyone collects something
Isn’t that what they say
I guess Im collecting the memories
Filing them away
Under the still crumbling remnants
Of what used to be
When I loved him
When he loved me

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