Tag Archives: guilt

Open Me Up

Sitting in the front seat
Watching the moon rise
Its climbing up through the tree tops
Straight ahead in my eye line
Slowly, steadily, exposing the star lights
I’m watching as the moon shine
creates shadows against the night sky

The beauty of the moment feels heady
But my heart feels hard and unsteady

Moonlight give me peace
Open me up to release
Moonlight keep me still
Show me how to let go of this guilt

All I can see is time
like the moon, flying by
And all I feel is paralyzed
Shadows have imprisoned me
here in my memory
I’ve shackled myself to the past
and it all keeps replaying
And so I’m saying

Moonlight heal my shame
Show me how to let go of my pain
Moonlight give me peace
Open me up to release

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Filed under all, introspection

guilt trip

i’m not trying
to guilt trip you
to make you feel bad
i’m just trying
to be honest
that this makes me sad

i want you
to sympathize
because you feel that way too
instead of re justifying
the reasons
like you often do

i understand
why it has to be
the way it will be
i accept that
but it doesn’t mean
that it wont
affect me

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Filed under bits and pieces, undone

i know that you’ll just cry
cause you know its worked
every other time
but baby
i’ve got something else
in mind

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Filed under bits and pieces, pieces. parts.

if you knew

i still remember
when we were little kids
mom would always dress us up
in those many matching outfits
and we would play together
ride our bikes or watch tv
that is until we got a little older
and you started to become
a little jealous of me
i was the one that had the friends
that mom and dad approved of
and you started seeing their approval
as a measure of their love

you were always looking
for someplace where you’d belong
somewhere that you didnt feel
like everything you did was wrong

i’m sorry i didnt try harder
to be a friend to you
to help you navigate the awkwardness
that you were going through

all that time and its only now
that i’m starting to see
that something may have happened to you
something like what happened to me

i cant explain the guilt i feel
for not knowing if its true
for not talking about these kinds of things
like normal sisters do

i only wish i could go back
and try to talk to you
tell you that youre not alone
that we went through it too

i just cant stop thinking
that if you knew
maybe it would have changed
how things ended up for you

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Filed under all, family, my sister

empathy

that girl in the bar
with the black and blue eye
i worry strongly for her
and you ask my why
i can just shake my head
and try not to cry

cant you see
the pain in her heart
she needs help but she
doesn’t know where to start

you blow it off
because we aren’t to blame
neither of us
even know her name
but that in itself
fills me with shame

cause this girl i dont know
may not say a thing
she sits there silently
fiddling with her ring
desperate for the distractions
these strangers may bring

i can hear her cry out
without saying a word
i know that you think
it’s a little absurd
but i feel her pain
without doing a thing
its hard to explain the guilt
that kind of empathy can bring

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Filed under all, random