Tag Archives: memory

Would Have

If you had really known me
you’d know I would have willingly
played the martyr
Would have swallowed my own swords
given reason
I wouldn’t have made it harder

In fact, knowing me I would have tried
to ease any guilt you might have felt
I would have reminded you
that I always respected the way you seemed to know yourself
Had I known there was something and someone else that you wanted
I wouldn’t have made it about me, I would have convinced myself to be happy for you
For taking a chance on something that I knew I couldn’t give you

Someone to lay with at the end of a long day
Someone who already knows you well enough
to know all of the right things to say
Someone to just be with, do nothing really at all
Someone to make regular new memories with in the backseat of your car
Someone you can actually touch when you’re so hard that it hurts
Not having to settle for racing home to my pictures and your hand after work
Knowing smiles, hand holding
Sleepy snuggles every morning

If you would have just told me the truth
I would have wanted to make that choice easy on you
Would have always carried a torch for this sweet, honest guy that I knew
I would have liked for that to be my memory of you

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Filed under all, love and stuff

Cobwebs, Leaves and TV Screens

I sweep warning signs idly away
Like cobwebs from a doorway
Forgetting about the spiders
Who put them there in the first place

I hold onto love too long
Like a tree in an autumn breeze
Stubbornly refusing to cast off deadening leaves
Afraid of what losing those colors might mean

But worst of all
I remember like a TV screen
Everywhere I go
I see ghosts acting out the memories

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Filed under all, bits and pieces, introspection, pieces. parts.

Pretty Girl

Pretty Girl pretty face
Pretty Girl nice body
Pretty Girl so beautiful
Pretty Girl kind of a hottie
Pretty Girl appreciates the compliments
Pretty Girl hates them a little too
Pretty Girl doesn’t feel any prettier than you

Pretty Girl’s pretty smile is a mask
Pretty Girl engages you with her pretty blue eyes
Pretty Girl uses your reaction to fill up the emptiness she’s carrying inside

Pretty Girl’s always surrounded with people
Pretty Girl must feel so adored
Pretty Girl wants to believe what they tell her, but
Pretty Girl has heard it before

Pretty Girl must have it “so easy”
Pretty Girl dying inside
Pretty Girl falls in love too easily
Pretty Girl always surprised

Pretty Girl tells the man No
Pretty Girl knows he will try again anyway

Pretty Girl walks to her car with her keys between the fingers of her fist
Pretty Girl relieved she’s wearing her work shirt so no one can claim she was asking for it

Pretty Girl always polite
Pretty Girl wishes you knew politeness isn’t permission

Pretty Girl has trouble saying No
Pretty Girl wants you to like her
Pretty Girl can never fully let go
Pretty Girl’s memory is an anchor

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Filed under all, introspection, random

Girl I Used To Be

There’s this girl
in my memory
Audacious and free
She isn’t interested in being
who anyone thinks she should be

She’s funny and sweet
Friendly and bright
She enters rooms and it’s like
she attracts all the light

She’s a gemini baby
Hey you know, so am I
An interesting blend
of a duel sided mind

Reflective and thoughtful
Empathetic and smart
Coupled with the outgoing
super talkative part

She would go out at midnight
alone, just to dance
She never needed
to go seeking out romance
She’d park herself on the dance floor
with a drink in her hand
Moving and singing along
with the DJ or the band

She spent so many hours
listening to people, giving advice
Practical but kind
Optimistic, but wise

Sometimes I wonder
What happened to me
What happened to that girl
in my memory
I wonder if she
would even recognize me
That girl I used to be

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Filed under all, introspection

whiskey

whiskey dulls the pain
i carry inside me
an aching that accompanies
almost any memory

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Filed under bits and pieces, pieces. parts.