Tag Archives: sad

almost may

it’s a cold
rainy
sad little day
can’t believe
its only
a week
until May

where
is the time going?
what happened
to spring?
what about
all the things
the new year
was supposed to bring?

same old
sad, cold
rainy little
day
sitting on the porch
with that
same old feeling
of fading
away

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Filed under all, bits and pieces, random, undone

youre too young

you’re too young
to understand right now
the who or the why
or especially the how
you came to be
with the family you have
or why sometimes, when we look at you
our faces seem sad

one day you’ll be old enough
for us to tell you the truth
about the tragedies that happened
during your early youth

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Filed under bits and pieces, undone

starting over

    i can’t quite seem to finish this one… it just doesn’t feel done. i’m going to post it anyway, but check back because i might just update this when i can get the rest of it out of me. ~mana

last year i concentrated
on enjoying what i had
so that i would never again
have to feel too sad

spending time with my parents
having fun with friends
spending all day outdoors
allowing myself to mend

because i learned how hard it is
to lose someone you love
how it affects you in ways
you would have never thought of

you were the first person
that i allowed into my heart
and you had free reign of it
right from the very start

so when things started to go wrong
i became more and more afraid
and i allowed it to effect my actions
and the decisions that i made

somewhere along the way
i guess i stopped listening to you
and i wasn’t able to read you
like i used to be able to do

i wish that at the time
i had been able to see
that i was slowly burying
the things you loved about me

my fear made me into someone
who was constantly insecure
who didn’t trust herself
and pushed you away, i’m sure

the pain of loss is overwhelming
when the people you love die
but somehow, it is even harder
when someone you love chooses
to say goodbye

so right now i am concentrating
on enjoying what i have
so i wont be consumed
with feeling so damn sad

i’m trying to be the kind of person
that i would want there for me
i’m remembering to trust and love myself
to fight off the insecurity

i’ve realized that i don’t need
to find the girl i was before
parts of her remain with me
but i am, and will be so much more

but you remain the man
that i carry inside my heart
and i will always consider you
to be my new beginning’s start

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Filed under all, introspection, longing, pain and loss

waiting for friday

five o’clock in the morning
still only half alive
crying as I watch you
walk down the drive
back to your life
to that place you call home
leaving me here in my space
to face another week on my own

five days until
I get to see you again
when you’ll hug and kiss me
and ask me how I’ve been
I’ll smile and say
I’ve been doing alright
being around you
always makes me feel light

but on those weekday mornings
when I wake up alone
and the distance between us
feels like it’s grown
I cant help but be sad
throughout most of the day
without you here
to hug it away

it’s not that i
don’t think we’ll be fine
I know how we both feel
we talk all the time
but I’m missing your hands
and seeing you smile
and just being able
to feel your presence for a while

I know that you
are feeling this way too
and there isn’t anything
either of us can do
we’ll just have to make do
with long phone calls and texts
until friday night
when we get to see each other next

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Filed under all, longing, love and stuff