Tag Archives: scared

Wells

I seek out wells to drown myself in
Dressed up in nice eyes and warm skin
A shadowy place to hide
Like a broken welcome sign
Atop an abandoned mine
That just echoes back the denial
that bounces around in my mind
Until I believe the me I’m pretending to be
Until I can only see what my depression needs me to believe
Until I wake up one day
And don’t recognize me
Trapped inside a cage of my own making
knees shaking, heart aching
With the realization
That I’ve been hiding my life away
Performing the same one act play
Reminding myself it’s what I wanted
To escape; to dissolve;
To fall like crumpled paper from pockets
So no one would see me flailing
So no one would see me failing

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Filed under all, introspection, love and stuff

afraid to lose

why am i
so afraid to choose
is it just because i
am so afraid to lose

i’m not even sure
what i’m holding on for
i guess i’m just scared
that less is never more

that to have is better
than to be without
that loneliness is never
easier than doubt

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Filed under all, bits and pieces, undone

forward

what do you have to give up
in order to reach your potential
how do you choose priorities
among the things
you find essential
to your future
or your happiness
they’re not always the same
at the time you have to choose
it can be hard to explain
what it is that you want
and more importantly, why
you’re scared to death
that life is passing you by

no one wants to wake up
ten years down the line
and wonder what the hell happened
to the dreams they once had in mind

but how do you pick yourself up
and begin to move forward
when you no longer know
what it is you’re moving toward

do you have to know
who you are
in order to pick up the pace
or does that come when you
finally finish the race

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Filed under all, random

without you

i know i was the one
who said we were done
who threw in the towel
and started to run

well what can i say
baby, you know me
illusions of greener grass
swept me off my feet

i didn’t know
who i was
without you as half of me
i just knew
i needed to see

i was scared
of being stuck behind
a constant back and forth
that left me numb inside

cause you were it
you were all that i had
and i don’t know why
but it made me mad

cause i didn’t know
who i was
if you weren’t half of me
i just knew
i wanted to see

but right now
looking at you
i cant help but remember
how in spite of it all
you could see
how happy we were

and now here i am
trying to understand
who i am without you
i wish i could tell you
that i knew

now here i am
trying to understand
how i can live without you
i only wish
that i knew

cause i didn’t know
who i was
without you as half of me
and now i am
and i’m not sure
i like what i see

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Filed under all, introspection, love and stuff

waiting

i am waiting
always waiting
to learn something
to feel something
to want anything
badly enough
to stir me to motion
to engage me enough
to be willing
willing to be scared
to start over
to trust myself
enough
enough to believe
that there is something here
something to do
and someone to be
and something simply
to say.

soon.
before this stirring
turns to sinking
as i constantly fear
it has already done
yet i am waiting

always waiting
for something
something
anything

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Filed under all, introspection