Tag Archives: sister

i remember

i remember
when i used to feel her
in the breeze
on a warm day
and how it felt
like she knew
everything i wanted
to say

i remember
the way she moved
when she heard a song
she really liked
and the snort like
noises she would make
when we were having
a fight

i remember
the way her face
used to look
when she laughed
how she’d sound
during that
open-mouthed chuckle
she always had

i remember
her humor
the kind of jokes
that she liked
the pure delight
on her face
was always such
a lovely sight

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someday

someday
i’ll walk
hand in hand
with my sister
i wont even
have to tell her
how much
that i’ve missed her

we’ll play
with her daughter
in a field
of bright flowers
with one
of those views
you only see
from tall towers

we’ll reflect
on the clarity
that passing on
may bring
and we’ll
cherish
the time
and all the
little things

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ange

i’m trying to remember
the shape of her smile
revisit the times
when we were young
for a while

been trying to recall
the tone of her laugh
you would think
it would be easy
27 years – you do the math

she used to make these faces
that were so uniquely her
sometimes i see them on her son
and my heart feels
like it just cast out a lure

sometimes i find myself
sitting in my car
or alone in an empty corner
of the local bar
talking to her
as if she were there
as if to remind her
how much i still care

i’m missing you, ange
and i hope that you know
that the pain of losing you
only seems to continue to grow

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angry

i am angry
about all of the time
i thought that we had
to develop the kind
of relationship
i had always wanted
to have

i thought that we’d
get older
and learn to lean
on each others shoulders
that in time our differences
would be subdued
and we would chat
like sisters do

but we will never
get that chance
no matter what may be
the circumstance

i’m so sorry i didnt
try harder during
the time that we had
i really had
no idea
that things were that bad

now all i can do
is miss you
keep piling up
the tissues
deal with this
itching
that says something
is missing
let sorrow sedate me
and succumb to its
aching

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one less

i regret the days
i wished for
one less
the days that
i thought
just us three
would be best

i regret the unanswered invitations
and all those missed calls
the times not shared
when you were still right there
only separated by walls.

because now its just
us three
and its taken all this
to make me see
that these three
will forever be
aching to be
one more
once more

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the last time

i wish i had known
the last time
was the last time
for so many things
the last hug
the last laugh
the last card
“love your sister”
the last christmas
the last picture
the last “called cause i miss ya”
i wish i had seen
down the path this was headed
looked beyond to see
the truth that i dreaded
i wish i could heal
the pain of so many
touched so deeply
by you
your spirit
so much bigger
than even
i knew

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Filed under all, longing, my sister, pain and loss

all the things

if i could
i would be
all of the things
you may have wanted
but will never have
the chance
to become

it would help me
to feel
like you were
still here
like a little part of you
would get to be
all of the things
you ever dreamed

you will never
get to see
the beautiful boy
your son
has turned out to be
but i will be sure
to remind him
that he
has a connection
to you
and how proud
you would be

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