i don’t know
from one minute
to the next
how i’m going to feel
like i’m trapped
on some never-ending
emotion filled
ferris wheel
because first
i feel so sick
i feel so foolish
i feel so bad
then the fact
that i feel like that
makes me start
to get so mad
and sometimes
in those moments
i really think
that i might hate you
for what you did
and all the lies
some of which you still
wont admit to
after the anger
is quiet
a calm tired
sadness
a thoughtful
consideration
of all the drama
all the madness
and then i crave
the comfort
you’re so great
at giving
and we connect
and i begin
to believe
i can be forgiving
and that time
we spend together
i honestly do
feel happy
i know that’s what
you’re trying
your very best
to make me
but eventually
its always there
in my head
like a slap in the face,
or a punch to the gut
you didn’t see coming
and didn’t
have time to brace
From the Margins of Notebooks 