the other side

i wonder
how you’d feel
if our roles
were reversed
if i had done
that to you
in that way
right at first

if it had
been me
taking you
for that ride
tell me,
how would
forgiveness look
from the other side?

how easy
do you
expect this
to be?
it’s not
about you,
remember?
it’s about me

you play
the victim
like regret
is the main event
but regret
flames bright
then dies out
and is spent

i have
no blame
to eat
to settle
the score
just heartache
fear
disappointment
and more

almost may

it’s a cold
rainy
sad little day
can’t believe
its only
a week
until May

where
is the time going?
what happened
to spring?
what about
all the things
the new year
was supposed to bring?

same old
sad, cold
rainy little
day
sitting on the porch
with that
same old feeling
of fading
away

something about spring

there is
something about when
the earth wakes up
from its slumber
the warmth seeps
into my heart
and i begin
to remember
my love
of the little things
like how sunshine
makes me feel
how everything
seems
so tangible
so real

addicted

it’s like
i’m addicted
to making
poor decisions
i know better
and yet
its like i get
tunnel-vision
and immediately
after
my head
fills with shame
stupid
stupid
you have
no one else
to blame

lessons

life’s a long line
of lessons
you start to learn
when you’re young
and just continues
as you get older
there’s always
more to come

you learn
compassion
through exhaustion
that you are not
the only one
resiliency through
the pains that
you have had
to overcome

decency
through shame
past crimes
you can’t change
hurt caused
where you were
the only one
to blame

congratulations

its crazy to see
how much we have grown
you now preparing
for life
beyond your own

congratulations!

heartbeat

i shift my weight
back and forth
from my heels
to my toes
my ears
start to ring
and my heartbeat
slows
i feel it pound
in my gut
i dont know
what to say
and i cant
do anything
while youre looking at me
that way

winter woods

heavy
snow-covered trees
look like lighted
silk tent tepees

september

alone with my thoughts amid winds in early september. among greens and trees and fall, pre-splendor.