Thunder

What is it I wonder
That makes me let them penetrate me
Like thunder
Thunder pushes into the core of you
Without you ever asking it to
But its there and gone
And you begin to crave it again
Fascinated with the feeling
of it rushing back out of your skin

When you crave thunder
You’re bored with a blue sky
Aching for rain
Irritated by the sunshine

After You

I miss the feeling of warm hands on my skin
The look of greedy eyes taking it all in
Comfortably vulnerable
Blissfully trusting
Not sure I’ll let myself feel that way again

Oh, there will be hands
And lips, I’m sure
Relief from aches when I’m lonely or bored, but
I want to tingle at the touch of a finger
Connect in a way that makes the euphoria linger
When it’s scary as fuck but you don’t care one bit
When you’re fantasizing all day long about it

I can’t imagine it for long
Without getting that feeling in my chest
A heavy suction like a vacuum tube
To an oxygen-less abyss
My stomach feels sick
My hands start to shake
Never knew panic attacks
Could be brought on by heartache
But suddenly I can’t breathe
I can’t think, I can’t speak
I get overwhelmed and dizzy
My legs go numb underneath me

Heart pounding, blood rushing
Radiating heat, on fire
I lay down against the cold floor
Start tracing each tile
Keep reassuring myself
This this will stop happening after a while

But I dont really know if that’s true
Not sure that I can ever fully trust myself
After you

lately

lately
nothing moves me
or motivates me
or inspires me
suddenly
indifferent
is all I can seem
to be

lately
I feel tired
I feel slow
I feel bored
and the people I’m with
cant help
but feel ignored

have you ever
had that dream
where your heart
starts to race
and you try to run
but you stay in one place?