breaking your heart

I’m watching it all falling to pieces
and I just don’t want to believe it
seeing my sturdy, weathered rock
crumbling apart, turning to dust

maybe that’s all life ever does
twist and hurt and end
maybe I just didn’t want to see it
but maybe that’s all it’s ever been

cause it’s all happening
it’s all falling apart
maybe no one ever
really finishes what they start

seems that life
just loves
to keep breaking your heart

history (not wasting time)

i look for comfort
in a lot of the wrong places
i spend all my time
reading people’s faces

looking for meaning
in the lives that exist around me
giving my heart
to all those who surround me

History is just the study
of people over time
our culture a reflection
of the collective human mind

maybe i’m searching for something
that i cant define
but something is telling me
i’m not wasting my time

progress is impossible
if no one ever really tries
too busy being surprised
by how fast time flies

lessons

life’s a long line
of lessons
you start to learn
when you’re young
and just continues
as you get older
there’s always
more to come

you learn
compassion
through exhaustion
that you are not
the only one
resiliency through
the pains that
you have had
to overcome

decency
through shame
past crimes
you can’t change
hurt caused
where you were
the only one
to blame

still waters

its a lamb
of a spring day
the waters are still
i soak up the sun
and study the rocks
below this grassy hill

and i think
about life
i ponder its mysteries
i fell small
so i conjure
your presence from my memories

i sit there with you
and hear symphonies
in the silence
and i can feel your smile
radiating light
full of kindness

so i close
my eyes
feel the wind on my face
content not to
feel alone
in this beautiful place

cruel

sometimes i think life
is unabashedly cruel
meant to continuously
make you feel like a fool

twenty years from now

twenty years from now
am i going to be thinking
that i spent all these years
doing nothing but sinking
wasting my time
doing whatever was easiest
never letting anyone
take me too serious
will i wish i spent more time
with the sun on my face
will i wish i had looked at success
like it was more of a race
will the people i love now
be the people i love then
will i still be in touch
with my dearest old friends

twenty years from now
will i be thinking
i’m happy i’ve come so far
or will i be drowning my regret
in a glass at the local bar
because life throws you curves
and it can often be cruel
the hard stuff are the things
they dont teach you in school

like death is a given
for you and everyone you know
and youre never prepared
to deal with someone’s time to go
or that sorrow is like the ocean
with tides that roll in
it moves out and gets calm
but it keeps coming back again

how much more sorrow
will i know
between now and then
is acceptance really
just a matter of when?

parting ways

i need to take some time
away from this whole deal
to try and figure out
exactly how i feel
i dont mean to be selfish
but i hope you would agree
that i need to make a choice
about whats best for me

life is a journey
a path you walk down
and you share parts of it
with others you’ve found
and often those paths
part ways down the line
and this fork may be
the end of yours and mine

maybe those paths
will merge once again
maybe we can even
somehow still be friends
but i’m on my way
this journey is my own
i’m looking for someone
who wants to help me to grow
but right now thats not you
and you know it’s so