Beacon

I am a beacon for broken people

Everyone’s lives are filled with loss
Sometimes it tears your life apart
So I make myself a caretaker
Of other human hearts
Sooth their hurts
Kiss their scars
Encourage them to love who they are

Ruins

I didn’t fall in love with how easy it was
to be around him-although it was
We really didn’t get to do that very much

I fell in love with his voice
The way he would speak
How he would question and over-think everything
How he was so much like me

I fell in love with the laughter
the nightly hours-long conversations
With what I thought was candor
With what seemed to be patience

I fell I love with a promise
That vanished while I slept
With a shrug of its shoulders
And a cock of its neck
It turned into a rumor
That whispered to its friends
Spun my confusion into crazy
My hurt into unhinged

Rumors have a way of making you question
What you thought you knew to be true
Makes you start to wonder
If you made up the good things too
Just how big were the blinders
Just how self absorbed had I been
Was he ever honest
Did I ever mean anything to him

But that’s the thing about rumors
there are no answers to find
They just linger in tiny whispers
in the back of your mind

But I’ve never cared much for rumors
It’s why I serve myself on a plate
Less need for anyone to have to speculate
Yes, I know that not everyone is like me
And maybe i’ll always be slightly naive but

I know when I’ve felt someone’s heart touch mine
I know when I’ve seen love or lust look at me from a man’s eyes
I understand motives when promises get broken
I know what I’ve heard in between the words that are spoken

He can burn all of the bridges I built
I’ll claim those ruins as mine
Have you ever noticed how ruins
become beautiful things over time

You can take a train ride
through the ruins of my past
Just keep your hands inside
So you don’t shatter them like glass
The train track is my history
There’s a station at every trauma
Ghosts move among the wreckage
play-acting out the drama
Some are quick enough to roll through
So many others take some time
I visit them all occasionally
When I get stuck inside my mind

Everyone collects something
Isn’t that what they say
I guess Im collecting the memories
Filing them away
Under the still crumbling remnants
Of what used to be
When I loved him
When he loved me

Days & Nights

Some nights
I shackle my heart to the past
Let it all keep replaying

Some days
I move forward so fast
I can almost see the future
Reshaping

i believe

i believe
in kindness
and grace
that everyone
looks better
with a smile
on their face

i crave words
debates, ideas
i believe nothing
is more liberating
than the way
tolerance feels

that organized
oppression
is something
we should fear

people aren’t property
fairness isn’t a commodity
you think i’m naive, probably
but that’s what i believe
and i’ll defend it
as long as i
can breathe

i hope for progress
happiness, liberty
that we learn
from the mistakes
we’ve made
throughout our history

you can’t have dignity
without decency
trust without sincerity
yeah i believe

that there’s a problem
when men become powerful
backed by the plentiful
amount of people
who aren’t clever enough
to know better
than to believe only that
which they’ve heard

when politicians
pander to the ignorant
so the truth
becomes intelligibly hazy
when campaigns depend
on the intellectually lazy

i believe in humanity
in equality
that our leaders
shouldn’t be trying
to legislate
their own morality
you can call me a liberal
definitely
and i’ll defend it
as long as i can breathe

as for me, i bring
an open heart
and an open mind
with an open hand
for those
who need a lift
from time to time

a curious spirit
a compassionate word
an encouragement
that you and your voice
should be heard

better aim

can’t you see
my heart
bleeding
down my sleeve

maybe, next time
i should keep it
strapped to the outside
of my boot

take more careful aim
before i start to shoot

tiny pieces

there was a time when i
could have had anyone
i might have wanted
and sometimes i would
just to prove my confidence
was warranted

some had girlfriends
some were “out of my league”
the athletes
the thinkers
the geeks
the bad seeds

the suits
the stoners
the partiers
the poets
men that have tiny pieces
of my soul but don’t know it

some that i wish
that i could take back
others that my heart
has longed to have back

history (not wasting time)

i look for comfort
in a lot of the wrong places
i spend all my time
reading people’s faces

looking for meaning
in the lives that exist around me
giving my heart
to all those who surround me

History is just the study
of people over time
our culture a reflection
of the collective human mind

maybe i’m searching for something
that i cant define
but something is telling me
i’m not wasting my time

progress is impossible
if no one ever really tries
too busy being surprised
by how fast time flies

you’re here

i don’t know
what the future
will hold
i don’t know
where this story
will go

all i know
is you’re here
in my heart
here in my head
there in my dreams
when i lay down
in bed

i don’t know if you
will ever love me again
i don’t know if we’ll
ever really be friends