Scavenger Hunts

I want to feel your arms encircling me
Want to taste your mouth as it’s devouring me
Encouraging mine to take more greedily
Matching each subtle push and pull of your body
So eagerly
I want to watch the shine in your eyes as I touch you
When our hungry hands act like lovers do
Discover each new space like a scavenger hunt
Each breathy whimper a clue to grinningly confront
As we slowly collect each moan, each shiver
Each arch of a back, each sigh of pleasure

the radio

I’ll be driving alone
and that song comes on the radio
Just like that, it all rushes back

Hand in hand walking down
a cute small town street
my eyes on you
your eyes on me

The wind in my hair
your lips on my face
the beat of your heart
the hole in me it replaced

The taste of sweet sweat
and the sound of your laughter
the promise of a perfect
happily ever after

Even though it’s been so long
when I hear the right song
the past is never really gone

Cause just when I think
I’ve let it all go
that song is playing on the radio

You and me in the car
open skies, summer air
singing songs and feeling like
this was something rare

You playing with the hole
in the knee of my jeans
both of us joyful
smiling incessantly

The scent of your skin
your hot breath on my neck
the endless embraces
all those playful little pecks

It’s been so long
but when that song comes on
those moments, yeah
they live on

tiny pieces

there was a time when i
could have had anyone
i might have wanted
and sometimes i would
just to prove my confidence
was warranted

some had girlfriends
some were “out of my league”
the athletes
the thinkers
the geeks
the bad seeds

the suits
the stoners
the partiers
the poets
men that have tiny pieces
of my soul but don’t know it

some that i wish
that i could take back
others that my heart
has longed to have back

just because

i could kiss you
right now
and i know
you’d let me do it
this shy game
you’ve been playing
doesn’t fool me
one bit
because i know
you like
the way you feel
underneath me
how excited you get
how you moan
so easily

but you love her
i know
i can see it
on your face
don’t worry
i’m kinda used
to being
second place
in the eyes
of the men
that i long for
the most
but instead
of switching gears
i sit in neutral
and just coast

you would think
that i’d start
to change
my expectations
instead of accepting
those once-every-few-weeks
invitations
i tell myself
that i cant help
that my heart wants
what it does
its my lame excuse
for my actions
my substitute
for “just because”

but this time
i do nothing
as these thoughts race
through my head
and my trembling lips
pull back
and say goodbye
instead

what else can i say

face down again
in some strangers bed
trying to collect
the events from last night
in my head
to remember why it is
that i didn’t just
go home instead

but i didnt say no
i never do
so i plan on leaving
before i can start
to feel used
i figure my socks
are lost in the bedsheets
so rather than risk waking him
i drive home in my bare feet

why do i need to feel loved
by every man i respect
like seduction is some kind of science
i’ve been trying to perfect
it’s a double edged blade
ain’t that always the way
but i’m addicted to the affection
what else can i say

shame

its like i’ve been
seeking affirmations
in any suitable man
who is willing
then i end up
sleeping with them
out of pity
when all i really
needed to hear was
“youre pretty,
youre pretty”

its pathetic
and shameful
and to most i’d deny
that i’m just doing
anything i can
to make myself feel
like i’m still alive

because i’m scared
and i’m sad
but you’d never know it
i’m too proud
and too embarrassed
to be able to show it

so i put on my boots
and my mega watt smile
and escape by becoming
the fantasies
of the men i encounter
for a while

i’m not proud
to admit it
but i’ll tell you
this much
it beats the hell
out of crying
and whining
and such

so judge me
if you like
if thats what
floats your boat
but that says more
about you
than any of these words
about me
that i’ve wrote

i want more

i want you
to see me
to know me
to explore me
to be interested
in my opinions
and my feelings
and my story

because i want
to hear you
touch you
understand you
to share in
your passions
and your dreams
like best friends do

but youre only
half there
with your
far-away stare
and i can tell
that you
dont really care
about this girl
her future
her past
or her present
youre there
for the few seconds
she makes you feel like
youre in heaven

youre there to score
pass out
wake up
and head for the door
do you really
not expect me
to want so much more?

chills

chills in the air
in October
snow is falling
i fell still. quiet. trapped.
hands legs heart are restless
aching for feeling and movement
the warmth of warm bodies
and mingled limbs
and sweaty sheets

these cold nights
breed desire
to be close, then closer
hot breath and eager hands
on hard bodies
with greedy intents

silence brings echos
of sweet moans and quick gasps
and heightened need
desire

desire to be wanted
to be needed, to be loved
to be wrapped in longing
and eagerness and urge

i ache to be looked at
to be touched
to be devoured and consumed
by the needs of others
to be used
to be handled, controlled

my heart is hungry

desire

my desire is like an ocean
but fickle like a child
flirting teasing fleeting
affection lust and coyness
in motion

my want is unyielding
it pushes out my hands arms chest
neediness
and greediness
the sweetness of feeling
the comfort of holding
the excitement of touching
of needing
to put a spark in his eye
when he looks at me
flirting teasing speaking
in unsaid language that does
not lie

memory of you

my memory of you
slips by quickly
like an old tape
stuck on fast forward
and my heart
breaks just a little
because oh, how i long
to revisit
each minute
in these late hours
to remember
each eager brush
of soft lips
and each adjustment
of willing hips
to retrace the path
of every shiver
that the feel of
skin on skin delivers

been wondering

i’ve been wondering
if you’re seeing
the truth
of how i’m feeling
is there more
underneath
this intense
physical heat
because i cant help
but to like you
to want to
get inside you
kinda like you’ve
been inside me
only this time
a little more deep
into your dreams
your hopes
and even your passions
not just the ones
of a sexual fashion
the ones that
touch you
that move you
have shaped you
the ones that you share
with only
a select few